Bob's Books

Why this book: Strongly recommended by Peter Attia on his podcast and I’ve listened to interviews with Ryan Holiday (author of The Daily Stoic, Obstacle is the Way, Ego is the Enemy) on other podcasts and he impressed me. Attia says this is the book he has gifted more than any other and he’s read it several times.  Good enough for me.

Summary in 3 sentences: This book has a simple message that the author skillfully and beautifully approaches from many angles and with many anecdotes, quotes and stories of people we’ve all heard of. That message is to slow down, seek quiet and stillness by separating from the noise and busy-ness and pay attention to who we are, how we are living, and what is going on around us.  He sneaks in other related insights to living well  – like seeking virtue, get a hobby, get enough sleep, appreciate beauty.  The book is short, easy and enjoyable to read and full of the wisdom of the ages for living well in busy and complicated times.

My impressions:  A wonderful little book – short, engaging with short chapters, full of great insights and wisdom – which we all need to be reminded of regularly.  He starts (p 2) with a quote from Blaise Pascal in 1654 “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”  He reminds us that thinking requires silence. Thinking deeply means regularly experiencing silence and stillness.

Holiday says “The premise of this book is that our three domains – the mind, the heart, and the body – must be in harmony.   The truth is that for most people not only are these domains out of sync, but they are at war with each other.” He divides Stillness into three sections – Mind, Spirit, Body, and addresses various aspects of his theme in the appropriate section.

Some parts of his message don’t quite seem to fit into the “stillness” theme, but I didn’t mind – his advice and stories were wise and useful, and all connected to living better in our busy complicated world.  His chapter titles offer insight into his approach:  Become Present, Slow down/Think deeply, Cultivate Silence, Start Journaling,  Choose Virtue, Seek Wisdom, Heal the Inner Child, Conquer your Anger, Take a Walk, Build a Routine, Find a Hobby, etc.

The chapters are short and easy to read. I found myself reading one or two in the evening before I went to sleep. Great insights and inspiration to consider before turning out the light.  Slow down, smell the roses, recoup your energy for those times when we need to have our wits about us to fully engage in our job, our community, the world to be at our best. Be wary of too much noise, activity, fun, excitement – Be wary of being too busy, stretched too thin, too distracted.   His message – we need intervals of sitllness, to be quiet, to pay attention to what is going on around us, and to remember who we are.

He spices up his chapters with stories and examples,  both positive and negative,  from the lives of well known people and historical figures, to include President Kennedy, Churchill, Tiger Woods, Fred Rogers, Leonardo da Vinci, Emerson, Anne Frank, Thomas Merton, and many more.   The book is treasure trove of great quotes to live by.  Fred Rogers: “The child is in me still…and sometimes not so still.”

He points out how the best CEOs recharge during their down time, by seeking silence – a quiet place with an absence of voices, media, and stimuli.  They recognize that they need a space to be out of the spotlight and under no pressure to perform, not having to make the tough calls, to be comfortably engaged and recharging, to let their inner wisdom bubble up.  “Stillness is no an excuse to withdraw from the affairs of the world.  Quite the opposite – it’s a tool to let you do more good for more people.”(p. 249)

He encourages us to seek wisdom by reading,  to access the insights and perspectives of the wisest people who have ever lived.  I would add, listening to podcasts to listen in on  conversations between some of the wisest and most interesting people alive today. That in fact is how I have been introduced to some of the best books  I’ve read recently — to include this one – listening to podcast interviews with the authors.

He warns us against focussing too much on our goals, and missing the joys in the process.       The process is life – attaining the goal is a short duration pleasure.  So he advises us to embrace the process, the individual steps on the journey, on the climb up the mountain. If we put all our hopes and dreams in summiting the mountain, we miss the joys along the way – and if we don’t summit, the trip has been a failure.

He uses the wonderful example of those who are so busy trying to capture that perfect picture of the sunset, that they miss savoring the beauty of the sunset.  The magic is in the moment of joy and beauty in watching the sunset.  The picture is but a cheap substitute.

In his chapter “On to the Final Act,” he tells us that “Seneca reminded himself that before we were born, we were still and at peace, and so we will be once again after we die.  A light loses nothing by being extinguished, he said, it just goes back to how it was before.” (p. 256) This resonated with me, after having jus posted my blog post  “200 days..”

There is so much wisdom, joy, and insight in this little book. Now that I’ve finished writing this review, I’l put it back on my nightstand to read again, a short chapter at a time, as I savor the Stillness I find, at the end of the day, as I’m preparing for the stillness of sleep.

 

 

Why this book: I’ve heard about it for years. I had enjoyed reading Cider House Rules a few years ago and wanted to read another John Irving novel.  Finally my reading group selected it for our August 2020 discussion.

Summary in 3 sentences: A coming of age novel told in the first person by Owen Meany’s best friend growing up in a small town in New Hampshire in the 50s and 60s,  to include a retrospective from the narrator 20 years later.  Owen Meany is a truly unique character in the following ways: very short and slight, a peculiarly high pitched, loud and obnoxiously scratchy voice, unusually intelligent, proud, opinionated, and articulate.  The story follows our narrator and Owen Meany’s lives from about age 10 until they are in their early 20s, looking at their lives and what was going on in America and the world, from their perspective as small town New Englanders maturing during a period of great change and upheaval in American culture.

My impressions: Very interesting book.  It meanders a bit,  and John Irving often   digresses into stories which add depth and perspective to his main characters, and provide humorous satire to small town New Hampshire living, but there were indeed times when I lost a bit of patience with the long digressions.  But I stuck with it and I’m glad I did.  And in the end, it all pretty much came together – as these sometimes seemingly pointless digressions actually play an important role in the totality of the story.  So many fascinating issues get brought up in this book with multiple subplots and themes and some fun and interesting supporting characters to John Wheelwright the narrator, and Owen Meany -the two main characters of the book.

The contrast between Owen Meany and John Wheelwright the narrator is pretty significant.  Owen Meany is clearly the stronger character of the two, self-aware and self confident, with a sense of purpose, direction, and a fatalistic detachment from issues big and small.  Wheelwright is timid and self-conscious, and basically lets himself be led by a strong personality – which usually is Owen Meany in this book.

Some of the topics and themes of the book that I look forward to discussing in my reading group are:

Small town New England life in the 50s and 60s.  Amusing but insightful look at small town living anywhere,  but especially in relatively isolated parts of America during a period when there wasn’t much input from outside their world. Television was in its early days and not everyone had it.  A train could get you to Boston a couple of hours away, but that was a big trip.  And as in most small towns, the controversies and feuds were vicious because the stakes were so small – which church would host a community event, who would play what part in the annual Christmas pageant, etc.  And then the issues of the outside world intrude to disrupt the insulated world of Gravesend, NH, in the form of the Vietnam War and the cultural disruption of the 60s.

Religion  – Catholics, Episcopalians, Anglicans and their individual prejudices and idiosyncrasies are all subject to affectionate criticism and satire.  Both John Wheelwright and Owen are regular church goers – a huge part of small town New England culture in that day.  Owen is a “believer” with a strong faith, but not afraid to criticize mindless convention and dogma, while John is a wishy-washy, along-for-the-ride agnostic.  The issue of “faith” is a constant in the book – Owen had it, most others didn’t – including the town’s religious leaders.

God, faith and fate – Owen had complete faith in God’s will and that events that happen are not random  – they fulfill God’s purpose.  This was THE key driver in his life, which gave him his self -confidence and sense of perspectives and purpose. Others who didn’t have it, like John Wheelwright drifted from decision to decision.  It is almost unsettling  how clearly Owen describes and declares his faith and his fate – which he holds on to in spite of getting no support from friends, relatives, church leaders.   That said, at the end of the book, one senses that John Wheelwright’s life may have been as predetermined as Owen’s – though he didn’t have the wisdom to see it.

Counter-culture, protests and the Vietnam War – big issues for the US in the 60s and they are an important part of this book, which was published in 1989.  But as I read about the craziness of the anti-war protests, and the counter-culture movement of 50 years ago, I couldn’t help but see parallels with the disruption we see in today’s protests against racism and inequality, agains white-male privilege, and how many peripheral groups are taking advantage of the chaos and unchecked passion that these often well-meaning protests enable. Then as now, young people feel compelled to get involved and take a stand against something that they  see as clearly wrong, without giving careful considerations to the many nuances and challenges in forging a constructive way forward.  Therefore, then as now, they are ready to take drastic and dramatic action to make their points and bring attention to their grievances – which often have negative consequences they don’t foresee.  That was true in 1968 as it is in 2020.  Young impassioned idealists, against the establishment – in some ways it’s almost a re-run – but today we have social media and a 24 hour news cycle fanning the flames.

Adolescent male sexuality – always a great topic for humor and satire, and the coming-of-age experiences of these two young men include a fair amount of humor. The posturing and sex-infused language of Owen’s and John’s school age buddies is always good for a laugh.  This was the era I grew up in – when good girls didn’t “do it” and most guys and girls graduated from HS as virgins.    Sex seemed to be a right of passage into respectability and adulthood for guys, who in a hurry to be perceived as “men” typically postured, and pretended to understand things that they were secretly scared to death of. This all seems rather quaint today, because beginning in the 70s, a much larger percentage boys and girls are sexually active in high school – for better or worse.

Nostalgia in movies and early TV.  The period of this novel is the same as when I and my wife were growing up, and the movies and TV shows that Owen, John, and John’s grandmother watched were very familiar to us, and evoked a smile of familiarity – “yeah, I used to watch that when I was a kid.” There were not nearly so many choices as today, so we all grew up watching most of the same shows,  but also there was no 24 hour news cycle fueling outrage, fear, and discontent.

The paranormal  Owen possessed a ‘second sight” which was a subtle theme throughout the book. Owen seems to tune into his parapsychological capability regularly, but doesn’t share much of that with his best friend, or with anyone else – this was part of the mystery of Owen Meany.  At the end of the book, John comes to recognize and appreciate Owen’s “gift” which he says helped him to find his own faith in God as well.

Death and Fear – hard to talk about this without doing a spoiler alert, but early on, Owen has a vision that foresees his own death, and he is absolutely convinced that the vision and what it told him were ordained by God. He completely believes in the vision and how he lives with this knowledge is an important theme of the book.     He knows how much time he has, and this insight allows him to remain detached from issues, annoyances, fears and frustrations that would dramatically disrupt the self-confidence and equanimity of most of us.  He does not share much of this insight with his best friend John- John is simply amazed at how Owen deals with the challenges that come his way.

My wife and I enjoyed reading this book together, and talking about it as we read it and after we had both finished it. Though I wouldn’t call this a book about religion and faith, these issues are certainly important in the lives of the main characters, and the issue of destiny is certainly a primary theme. My wife noted some of the interesting religious symbolism that I missed.  This will be a fun discussion in our reading group.  I recommend it –  to anyone interested in a different, fun, and sometimes idiosyncratic novel – not altogether unlike it’s main character – Owen Meany.

 

 

Why this book: I was looking for a “light” and enjoyable read and this book had been recommended to me many years ago.  I have also listened to Dan Carlin’s fantastic series “Death Throes of the Republic” which covers the lead up to the end of the Roman Republic, when Ceasor made himself emperor.

Summary in 3 sentences:  During the period when Pompey and Julius Caesar were preparing to do battle over the soul of the Roman empire, a close relative of Pompey is murdered on the estate of our protagonist.   Pompey takes our protagonist’s son-in-law as collateral until he can identify the murderer.  The story is a first person perspective of our protagonist, who also has a son who is a key member of Julius Caesar’s staff.  During the course of our protagonist’s investigation into Pompey’s relative’s murder,  we learn about Roman culture at that time, the chaos inside the city as people flee, it’s future is in doubt, how people lived and interacted, and how our protagonist carefully navigates the delicate politics between these two rivals.

My impressions: This is who-done-it that takes place in Rome during the window when Julius Ceasar has crossed the Rubicon and is about to take over Rome and become emperor, essentially spelling the end of the Roman Republic.  We see the world of Rome through the eyes of Gordianus, a Roman attorney who has been able to remain essentially neutral in the tension between Caesar and Pompey.  But when one of Pompey’s relatives is murdered on his grounds, he can’t stay neutral any longer and has to put himself on the line.  He must get involved in the deceit and intrigue and maneuvering for power, influence and money that inhere in such turbulent and uncertain times.  Through him we learn about what was happening in Rome in this chaotic time, as well as things about Roman culture.

It’s a good and fun read, not very long, apparently well researched.  Reading this during  the COVID Pandemic helped me realize that our panic is small potatoes compared to being on the edge of a civil war, with all the people of means fleeing the city for their lives, assuming that whoever wins between Ceasar and Pompey, there will be wholesale slaughter in the city.  Gordianus nicknamed  “the finder” is called upon and forced by Pompey to resolve a problem that has no good solution, and he and his family are at great risk, almost whatever happens.

I learned a few things about slavery in Rome.  Gordianus’s “children” were all adopted slaves.  His “son” who was a close associate of Caesar’s was an adopted slave.  One of Pompey’s key associates with whom Gordianus travelled to see Pompey was a freed slave.  Gordianus had two small boys in the house he was raising who were slaves that he expected to adopt.  The title “citizen” in Rome was a title that gave one real privileges.   Traveling through the country side in order to link up with Pompey’s forces fleeing Ceasar, we get to know something of rural Italy during this window, the taverns, the roads, how people travelled and lived, their fears of the soldiers. In their conversations and dialogue we learn of their beliefs, their religion, their fears, their hopes.

The ending is climactic and surprising, and leaves the door open to the sequel, Last seen in Massilia as Gordianus must continue to dance between multiple forces, and this time to connect with Caesar’s forces.

 

 

Why this Book: Selected by my young SEAL gonnabes reading group for our group selection

Summary in 3 sentences:  The title tells the story – an amazing collection of stories of people who overcame great odds to succeed – sometimes choosing to take on great challenges – as David did in taking on  Goliath – and other stories of people being forced into situations when the odds were stacked against them.  The book is full of great stories of “unlucky” people being handed a raw deal, but then struggling and learning, developing more resilience and self discipline than their “luckier” peers, and turning a disadvantage into a life advantage.  The concept of desirable difficulties is key to this book and how some of our most successful people have chosen to make bad luck a springboard to great success.

My Impressions:  Like all of Malcolm Gladwell’s books I’ve read so far, this one is written to be very readable and engaging.  Great stories well-told,  make a series of points – built around the idea of reframing a problem, and that  “desirable difficulties’ – can lead to great success.  He gives many examples of people making an impediment a challenge, and then rising to that challenge to then because of the strength they developed in overcoming that challenge, then succeeding in a larger arena.

There were a number of take-away lessons from the book, apart from the inspiration that comes from reading stories of courage, persistence and intrepidity in the face of overwhelming odds.  One is the competitive and survival advantage of a growth mindset.   Being willing to consider possibilities apart from the standard, apart from the tried and the true. This was the case in the David and Goliath story; Goliath expected to be fought in the traditional way, and was defeated by an unconventional approach.

He made the distinction between success built on capitalizing on one’s strengths, and success built on compensating for one’s weaknesses. He wrote about how a disadvantage can become an advantage.   The  “desirable difficulties” he writes about  force young people to adapt and grow and become more resilient.  He told how several very successful CEOs – an amazing percentage – are dyslexic.  To succeed in school and life, they had to find ways to overcome their dyslexia, and they had to have patience and perseverance in the face of repeated failures due to this competitive disadvantage in school.   These adaptive mechanisms served them well in later life.

He noted that many people are afraid of being afraid, but that overcoming fear can be exhilarating.  Many of those who find the greatest joy in life seek challenges where they can overcome their fear and experience that exhilaration.

Another disadvantage that in several of his examples was turned into an advantage was poverty – and the work, discipline, and patience that it took to overcome poverty served a number of his “Davids” well in the stories he told.

He told a story of a woman who chose the traditional route to success by opting in to the most competitive environments, and was unable to keep up with the most talented, and so gave up her dream and the possibility of making great contributions. She wishes she had chosen to be a bigger fish in a smaller pond.

He told a story of how people in London persevered during the bombing of London during WW2 by believing in their own invulnerability after having survived numerous “near misses.”  My Army SF counterpart related to that story by sharing how many times he was nearly shot in combat, noting that the more often they missed, the less afraid he became.

We read of the story of how the civil Rights movement grew out of the patience of one of Dr King’s allies coupled with the aggressive take-no-prisoners approach of another.

We read of how the Irish Catholics in Northern Ireland responded to the overbearing crackdown by the British Army, by standing up to power and illegitimate authority.

We read of how Mike Reynolds changed the laws in California regarding prison sentences for criminals after his daughter was murdered.  And then how these stricter sentencing laws may have backfired, after sharing different approaches to criminal punishment in Canada and the Mennonites.

He wrote about courage, and how self-confidence and courage are mutually supportive.  Courage breeds self-confidence and vice versa.  He referred to Aristotle’s notion of courage and that it is a virtue that is earned. In order to become courageous, we must put ourselves at risk and be courageous.  We develop courage by doing courageous acts.

When we discussed this book in our reading group, my partner, an Army Special Forces officer posed the question to each of the young men there: What is your Goliath?  What is the thing you are afraid of that you most overcome, that may stop you from fulfilling your dream of becoming a Navy SEAL?    The answers were telling and very human – and these young men made themselves vulnerable to each other by sharing what they were afraid of.

A weakness of the book is that it doesn’t hang together all that well. These are great and inspiring stories of people showing great character, resilience and fortitude under adverse circumstances and achieving great things.  But some of the stories seem to bear little resemblance to each other – the type of courage, resilience, and persistence shown in very different circumstances.  But that is a quibble.  I really enjoyed the book – perhaps not the most academically tight argument, but entertaining and inspiring.

Why this book:  I know and admire Adm Bill McRaven  – we were contemporaries in the SEAL community and I was looking forward to reading his story.

Summary in 3 sentences This is not an autobiography nor a memoir – it is indeed a series of stories, in chronological order from Bill McRaven’s life.  But the stories tell a larger story about not only what made Bill who he became and is, but also about how our country has prosecuted the War on Terrorism.    He shares a few stories from his childhood that were foundational for him, then on to a stories from SEAL Training and his earlier years in the SEAL Teams –  key stories about life in “the Teams, and what prepared him for the stories in the second half of the book – after 911 and his time with the Joint Special Operations Command and his role in key events in our War on Terrorism.

My Impressions:  Very Well Done- not only thoroughly enjoyable to read, but it offers great insights not only into what shaped Bill McRaven’s life, leadership and decisions, but also into how our country makes key decisions in the strategic employment of special operations forces in our world-wide fight against terrorism.   The stories are very well told and provide a key piece of the puzzle of what made Bill McRaven into the leader and man of principle he became over a lifetime.  Most readers will be most interested in his stories from when he was leading at the cutting edge of our War on Terror after 911, but the stories that lead up to that are not only engaging and fun to read, but also help put the man in context, as we see how one of the great military leaders of our generation got to be that way.

The extensive dialogue he provides to these stories is  as he best remembers it, and (I’m sure) much of it is close to what probably was said, or what might have been said.  He provides detail that brings each of these stories to life. I asked him how he remembered so well these details and so much of what happened, some 30,40, 50 years later.  He replied that with the exception of a couple of his stories from when he was very young,  he is in touch with others who were there who helped him with his recollections.  The stories come to life, are very believable.  The book is a page turner.

Two halves of the book  The first half of the book is ten stories leading up to 911 – and we learn about some of his favorite stories as a child and young man growing up, then becoming a young SEAL officer and later, a senior SEAL Officer.  At about the half-way point in the book, we find Bill working in the National Security Council for President George W. Bush,  and he shares the interesting challenges of working in the inter-agency, trying to coordinate a national response to several key terrorism incidents then facing our nation.  That chapter is the transition chapter; in subsequent chapters, Bill is fully engaged leading Special Operators Forces overseas in Iraq, Afghanistan and Africa.  These include the operation which captured Sadam Hussein, the Captain Phillips Maersk Alabama rescue, a couple of stories I was unfamiliar with – our successful take downs of a terrorist leader in Somalia, and  the mastermind behind Al Quada’s suicide bombers in Iraq.  Fittingly enough, the longest chapter in the book is his key role in the successful mission to kill or capture Osama bin Laden.  These operations required that Bill coordinate closely with senior leaders in both the Bush and Obama administrations, and he shares his respectful insights into their concerns and decision making processes.

The Fourth Star.  After the bin Laden raid, Bill was selected for a fourth star and assigned to lead United States Special Operations Command – but in Sea Stories he doesn’t share anything from that final tour. I suspect it was somewhat anti-climactic for him, but I do know that his initiatives and decisions made significant positive impact that will last for decades in US Special Operations Forces.  His final chapter describes his retirement ceremony from USSOCOM, and includes excerpts from his retirement speech, honoring his family, his wife Georgeann, and the many men and women who had inspired him during his career. It was a fitting McRaven speech and conclusion to his book – humble yet confident and proud, giving mostly credit to others who helped him and our nation, and sharing his feeling of being blessed to have served our country with so many great American men and women.

The Wounded  Along the way, he shares stories of visiting the wounded service men nd women being treated in military hospitals, and how their courage moved and inspired him ( I teared up a couple of times  reading these.)  He has a whole chapter about these visits and the stories of some of these most impressive men and women recovering in various hospitals he visited.  He calls this chapter “The Next Greatest Generation.”

“Leadership” Though it is not a “leadership book” as such, there are many great leadership lessons in it.  Anyone who reads it looking for guidelines for being a great leader will be well rewarded.   He volunteered for the tough jobs.  Several times we see him choosing to put himself at risk to be with his troops, share their risk and better understand their world and conditions.   His leadership exemplified competence, character and caring. He trusted and empowered his subordinates.   He treated his men with great respect and that respect was returned.  He clearly cared about people – and made it a point to connect with those whose lives would be changed forever from their wounds in the war. He made mistakes and admitted them, learned from them and became better from them.   I never saw Bill McRaven – not in person, nor in the book, pretentiously trying to present himself as anything other than who he is.

Bottom line: Sea Stories is a fun read which gives great insights into Bill’s journey, life in the SEAL Teams as both a  junior and senior officer, what a great leader does and how he behaves, and an inside look at how he and our nation’s leaders made key decisions during our war against Islamic terrorists in the first decade of the 21st century.

 

Why this book: I’d heard about it from several people, and then my friend Peter Rae strongly recommended it, so I pushed it to the top of my reading list.

Summary in 3 Sentences:  A jesuit priest, Greg Boyle – known as G, or G-dog by the gangbangers – lived in the gangland of East LA, and became a trusted and neutral observer of all the tensions and killings and violence taking place where he lived. He started out as the priest for Dolores Missions  and then went on to found Homeboy Industries to create jobs and a means for gang members to transition into making a living and becoming contributing members of society. This book is his story about his interactions with young, mostly hispanic men, women, teenagers from the world of gang violence in LA and how his unconditional love made a difference – while also it was inadequate to stop the killing of so many of those he was helloing.

My impressions: This is a powerful book by a man with more genuine courage, compassion and love than almost anyone I’ve ever heard or read about.  It is a spiritual book, it is a Christian book, but it doesn’t demand that you be a Christian or even to believe in God to recognize the wonder of love and a spiritual acceptance of people as they are.

It is often a sad book, as Father Greg is routinely called upon to speak at the funerals of young men and women he had worked with, and who were on the cusp of breaking out of the gang life and taking steps to become contributing members of society.   They were killed sometimes by stray bullets, sometimes by being in the wrong place at the wrong time, sometimes targeted by “enemy” gangs.  What in my neighborhood would be a rare and well publicized tragedy was (is?) routine in the world that Father Greg Boyle describes in Tatoos on the Heart.

By the end of the book, as he was telling an uplifting story about a young person who was committed to making sincere effort to break out and become a working adult, my heart would sink.  So often in this book, the end of that promising story was a sudden and untimely death by a bullet. And Father Greg himself broken hearted, would console a grieving mother and friends. And then he would  preside at the young person’s funeral. Sometime several a month.  Fathers were rarely part of the picture, and when so, not as positive role models.

Tattoos on the Heart is full of humor.  Father G tells stories about young men and women who only know the violent gang world of “live and let die” in the ghetto,  and are then exposed to the more orderly and predictable reality that I and most of you live in.   Those who were drawn to G-dog decided they knew that life offered something more than what they had experienced, and that maybe they could get it, but sometimes the transition to “polite society” could be  a bit awkward and funny.   He tells the story of a young man who, trying anew to get his high school degree, excitedly tells G, “On Monday we’re going to digest a frog!” With a  smile, Father G corrects him with  “dissect a frog.”  Response: “Yeah, well, whatever …Monday we’re fuckin’ with a frog.”

Or when he’s in a detention facility, they are reading the Eucharist, reading a letter of Paul to the “Phillipinos” or in  Acts of the Apostles they substitute a word they know – “genitals” for one they don’t – “Gentiles.”  Father G suggests “Go to the Acts of the Apostles, and substitute ‘genitals’ wherever you find ‘Gentiles.’  It livens up the book as never before.”

His chapter entitled “Success” was particularly meaningful to me.  He was constantly seeking donations to help build, sustain and improve Homeboy industries, and he was routinely asked for proof that his effort “worked,” and was told  “we don’t fund efforts, we fund outcomes.” While he recognized that this is the practical, hard-nosed, and clear eyed approach business must often take, he didn’t think it addressed the primary issue.  “If our primary concern is results, we will choose to work only with those who give us good ones” and not spend time with those who may most need help. He said a results-oriented approach would demand that he work primarily with “the well behaved and the most likely to succeed… and sidestep the difficult and belligerent and eventually abandon ‘the slow work of God.’  (p 178-79)

With all the violence and killing in the stories that Father G tells, it is ultimately a very upbeat book. When he believes in these young people, when he shows that he believes in them, by trusting them and giving them a chance,  they begin to believe in themselves.  And though he is often disappointed by those who are not ready to be trusted, or to accept love and trust, he continues to believe in them.   He notes the “the principal suffering of the poor is shame and disgrace.”  His acceptance of  and belief in them begins to break that stranglehold on their character.   He doesn’t judge – and they know he’s there when they’re ready to make a move – and he goes out on a limb to give them a chance, then another chance, and when they fail at that one, if they’re clearly sincere, and sincerely trying, he’ll give them all the chances they need.

Father Greg Boyles book is humbling to me and most of the rest of us.  Where are we making that kind of difference in the lives of people who REALLY need help, assistance, and love?

Why this book:  Selected by my literature reading group.  I had heard so much about this book over the decades, I felt it was about time I read it.   Brothers Karamazov is one of my top five favorite novels, and Drive and Punishment is considered Dostoevsky’s other master piece.  So, time to read some more Dostoevsky.

Summary in 3 Sentences:  This is a classic and well known story about a disturbed, intelligent, indigent, and somewhat isolated student in 1860s Petersburg, Russia who kills a greedy old woman pawnbroker (from whom he had recently borrowed money), in order to use her money to pull himself out of his poverty and provide him the resources to live up to his potential for greatness and do good in the world.  In the process of committing the murder he kills another innocent person who stumbles upon him in the act, and then struggles with his own conscience, his sense of identity, his obligations to his family and friends, and  the potential implications  of his actions.  It is a long hard look at his confused values, his moral anguish and disturbed psyche, and ultimately, at good and evil and redemption.

My impressions:  This book has attained classic status for being about a lot more than simply “crime doesn’t pay” or that a guilty conscience is the road to hell.  It is one of the early psychological novels, exploring the mind of an intelligent and self-conscious but disturbed young man who commits a heinous crime and what his anxiety, fear and conscience do to him and those in his circle of friends and loved ones.

Origins: Crime and Punishment was originally published in 1866 in monthly installments in a Russian literature magazine; the chapters are therefore pretty regular – about 10 pages long. Knowing that helps one to understand the structure of the novel as one reads it.  Each chapter ends with a bit of a cliff hanger to keep the reader anxiously awaiting the next installment.  For example, one chapter ends:  “As he was leaving, Svidrigaylov met Razumikhin in the doorway.” – these two being intriguing characters on different sides of the good – evil spectrum.

Good and Evil: Good and evil are not so simple in this book – as our protagonist Rodion Raskolnikov is clearly not “evil” but neither is he “good.”  The other characters in the book are indeed interesting, and also human – more or less flawed. There are a few characters who are agreeable and a few who are much less so – but Dostoevsky brings them all to life and makes them believable.   The hard part about reading this book is that much of it – particularly the first half of the book is inside the thoughts and consciousness of Raskalnikov, a not particularly sympathetic character who is suffering great mental anguish and confusion and on the verge of mental illness.  He is not at all easy to like, or sometimes even to tolerate.

Self-reflection: It occurred to me that part of what made it so uncomfortable for me to be inside Raskolnikov’s mind is that he represents so openly and explicitly those parts of my own character that I don’t like: self-absorbed, impulsive, insensitive, angry, bitter, alternating between passive and aggressive victimhood, between being compassionate and principled and completely selfish and self-centered.   I suspect each of us has a bit of Raskalnikov in us from time to time, but we are (usually) mature enough to suppress and overcome those destructive and self-centered tendencies.  In Raskalnikov, we see these tendencies up close and personal, in all their ugliness, in the full light of day.

Suffering: The idea of suffering is important in the book. Raskalnikov commits his crime in part to alleviate his suffering (and theoretically the suffering of others,) but as a result, he suffers more.  Other characters in the book suffer as well – from poverty, self-delusion, alcoholism, from the bad actions of others, or  simple bad luck.  Raskalnikov is an unhappy character throughout the book – but at some points his misery becomes so excruciating that he seriously considers suicide.  Ultimately he realizes that he can only be redeemed by atoning for his crime and suffering the consequences of his action

Petersburg Russia, 1860s.  Dostoevsky introduces us to the world of Petersburg Russia in the 1860s – a sophisticated city with one foot in mid-19th century European culture and another in the world of pre-reform serfdom and the middle ages of Russia.  We are exposed to much extreme poverty, including Raskalnikov himself, in a world  with no social safety net.  Shabby and dirty pubs and restaurants, and people begging and scrambling for kopeks, and for whom a ruble or two was a lot of money. There was a nascent revolution brewing in Russia – the early stages of what 50 years later became the communist revolution, and Dostoevsky lampoons one of the characters who represented pie-in-the sky ideals that are strikingly similar to the far left movement in the US today.  He also caricatures those in the middle class for whom achieving upper class status and respectability is a primary life goal. I was reminded of the British series Keeping up Appearances. 

I enjoyed getting to know the many interesting people who are part of Raskalnikov’s life – his mother and sister, his best friend, his landlady and servant girl, along with some of the less-reputable people he gets to know during the course of the book – each brings something different into the story.  Raskalnikov’s interactions with them – especially while he is in the depths of his moral anguish and identity crisis – are difficult to understand and sympathize with.  But that is an important part of the story; what his poorly considered actions do to a man who is already on the edge, and to his relationships with and the lives of the people on whom he depends.

Raskalnikov does show strength of character in his adamant insistence that his sister not marry a manipulating self-serving lawyer, who wants to use her to support his career.  His love and support for his sister and mother are admirable.  Though he ostensibly murdered for money, he is not money-hungry and as a matter of principle turns down money several times.  He sticks up for and supports the poverty stricken family of a man he’d met in a pub.   He recognizes the strength-of-character of Sonya – the eldest daughter of his former friend, and supports and respects her regardless of how polite society treats her as a social outcast.  His charity and acceptance of her are rewarded – Sonya is almost a Mary Magdelin-like character, but Sonya becomes the savior, more so than the saved.   At the end of the book we learn of  supererogatory acts of charity and courage that Raskalnikov had performed before we meet him at the beginning of the book – which makes his character that much more interesting, and indeed somewhat more sympathetic.

The further one gets into the book, the more the story is about the other people in  Raskalnikov’s life and his self-centered and rude behavior do not occupy center stage as much.  That said, the care and concern of those who love him, and the impact of his behavior and his crime on them remains a key theme.

Nietzsche and the Ubermensch.  As a fan and student of Nietzsche for many years, I was intrigued to learn that Raskalnikov’s crime was motivated in large part by a shallow understanding of Hegel’s philosophy that Nietzsche himself developed several decades later – the idea of the Ubermensch – a superior person – who lives by his own rules. As Raskalnikov saw it, the superior man – and he saw himself as such a person – should not feel compelled to abide by the rules of the the common people. The übermensch has a higher calling to greatness, and the laws and social rules meant to restrict the behavior of the common people should not stand in the way of one destined for greatness, and to accomplish great things for the greater good.   Raskalnikov repeatedly referred to Napoleon as such an ubermensch, and he saw himself as having the potential for greatness as well, and that murdering the pawnbroker would be a justifiable step for him to achieve his destiny.  This is of course a bastardization of the ideas that Nietzsche later developed,  but it was interesting to me to see how this idea could be misunderstood and mis-applied by an immature mind like Raskalnikov’s, or as the Nazis did 70 years later.

Brothers Karamazov. Having read Brothers Karamazov several times  (my review here),  I see a number of interesting parallels in themes and characters in Crime and Punishment, written 15  years earlier.  Dostoevsky’s empathy for the working class and those who struggle to maintain their dignity and get by in a highly class-structured society is evident in both books.  His disdain for the pretensions and self-righteousness of those of  the upper class is also evident in both books, and he caricatures those in the middle who so ardently aspire to upper class status.   We see his strong spiritual  sensibility in how Raskalnikov the atheist, with no spiritual foundation, struggles and suffers, as does Dmitri the oldest of the Karamazov brothers.  In Raskalnikov’s intellectual rationalizing, we see elements of Smerdyakov and middle brother Ivan.  In the sensualist Svidrigaylov we see elements of the senior Karamazov, father of the brothers K.   And in Sonya we certainly see parallels with the almost saintly virtues of love and tolerance in the youngest of the Karamazov brothers Alyosha.

Crime and Punishment is not an easy read – but it is very much a worthwhile read. As with all Russian literature, one must get used to the multiple, long, and multi-syllabic Russian names – with family names, nicknames, and diminutives all mixed up.  But after a while one figures it out.   I recommend reading it with others who are willing to go the distance – in order to have someone with whom to discuss the various moral dilemmas and issues after finishing the book.

Aid to understanding. I also found it useful, as I do with most longer classics, to read cliff-notes or spark notes along with the text; I read a few chapters of the book, and then read the “notes” summaries and commentary.  My Cliff notes version helped me keep track of names, and it provides a map of Petersburg with all the key locations.  Reviewing the Cliff notes summaries revealed parts of the story I had somehow skipped over or missed, and though I didn’t always agree with the commentary, it was useful to consider.  This book definitely deserves to be discussed – not just read and put back on the shelf.  But the right translation is important.

Which Translation: Depending on why you are reading the book, it’s important to find a translation that fits your needs.  Knowing this from having read Dostoevsky in the past, I did some research which seemed to point to the Pevear and Volokhonsky translation, which many people seemed to prefer.  I bought it read,  the first half of the book and didn’t particularly care for it.  If I were teaching a graduate class on Dostoevsky and Russian literature, I might use this translation – it is very well footnoted (which  provides great additional background, but it is distracting having to go to the back of the book so often) and uses English language which evokes 19th century Europe, but which I found a bit off-putting- using terms that are not comfortable or familiar to most 21st century readers (like niggardly, pot-house, lackey, etc). So I did some more research and found the Michael Katz translation, which worked for me.  I read the 2nd half of  C&P using Katz’s translation and enjoyed it much more.  He intentionally makes it easier to read – he doesn’t offer extensive background in footnotes,  the footnotes he does provide are at the bottom of the page, and the language is much more accessible. I compared P&V and Katz translations of certain passages and still preferred Katz. SO – for a more enjoyable, more accessible read, get the Katz version!

Why this book:  I had read this book maybe 20 years ago. It was selected as the book of choice by a group of young men getting ready to go through SEAL training – it is a very popular book among Navy SEALs. So I decided to read it again – glad I did.

Summary in 3 sentences:  In 480 BCE  ancient Sparta sent 300 of its best warriors to defend Greece from an invasion by an overwhelming Persian force.   Gates of Fire tells this story in novelized form, in retrospect from the perspective of a young non-Spartan helot, who at the end of the battle, severely wounded and dying on the battlefield,  was kept alive by the Persians, to explain to them –  who were these men who had fought to the death so valiantly, killing thousands of Persian warriors?   Our narrator shares the  story of his very difficult childhood, how he became a slave in Sparta and eventually a squire to one of the leading Spartan warriors, who ultimately was selected to be one of the 300 selected to fight in Thermopylae.  Though we all know how the battle ends, in his telling of the story, we get to know King Leonidas, many of the Spartan warriors, we learn about their culture and values, and we experience the brutality of their training and finally of the  battle which inevitably led to the deaths of them all – except our severely wounded protagonist  – a lone survivor.

My impressions:  This book matures with age, like a good wine. When I first read it, it was a really good historical novel and adventure war story.  This time, I got so much more out of it.  Has the book changed? Of course not. But I have.

In the world I live in – Special Operations and more specifically the Navy SEALs, this book is well known and widely read.  It describes an ideal warrior culture – one that transcends time and place.   Pressfield’s story provides an inside look at an ancient Greek version of the ideal culture that I grew up aspiring to build in the various SEAL units I served in,  and this ideal is shared by the US Marine Corps and US Army infantry and Special Operations Forces, as well as by the many non-US special operations units I trained with in my career.  Different and less violent versions of it are reflected in the ideals of non-combat military units.  The brotherhood and mutual commitment that these warriors felt for each other is an ideal that leaders in any organization should aspire to build.

But when I mention this book to my civilian friends, most had not heard of it.  I shouldn’t be surprised.  Different cultures and subcultures read different books, watch different movies, have different heroes, believe in different myths.  This book and this story embodies much of the mythology that inspires the best military combat units as they seek to develop their warrior cultures.  In Gates of Fire, Steven Pressfield writes a novel that seeks to be as historically accurate as possible, to tell the story of how a small group of uncompromising Spartan warriors performed in this epic battle for the ages, while reinforcing the mythology that backs up an ideal warrior culture.  He describes the build-up to the battle, and then the courageous sacrifice of these warriors willingly fighting and dying to save Greece.  Their courage in that place and time arguably saved not only Greece, but Western civilization from being subsumed into a more subservient and hedonistic Persian culture.

In addition to being a well told story and great read about a key event in Western history, Gates of Fire includes much wisdom and many insights of interest to warriors, young and old, and I would argue, to the rest of us as well.  Some of these are: (page numbers refer to the 1998 hardback version)

Fear – Dienekes, one of the heroes of the book and the warrior to whom our narrator is a squire, is speaking to young and new warriors before their first battle, and asks them “What is the opposite of Fear?”  The discussion obviously turns to courage, but Dienekes responds that courage is not the opposite of fear, because, much of our courage is based on fear of disgrace, fear of letting down our king, country, comrades, family.  He says the opposite of fear is also not fearlessness.  He leaves the question open – until the end of the book.

Andreia – the Greek word for “manly” or heroic virtue. Dienekes asks the young warriors who they believed best embodied andreia.   Diekenes surprises his listeners by denying that Achilles had it – because he needed fear no death – he was (nearly) immortal. Polynikes comes close but not quite – his courage is too brazen and unconscious.  He surprises all be saying that no one he knows embodies andreia more so than his wife.  And he explains why.

Developing the strong warrior A good part of the book was about the brutal and relentless Spartan training, noting that this is what differentiated them from any other warriors in the world.  At one point, Dienekes says the key to being a great warrior is to develop the right habits.   “Habit will be your champion. When you train the mind to think one way and one way only, when you refuse to allow it to think in another, that will produce great strength in battle….Habit is a mighty ally, my young friend. The habit of fear and anger, or the habit of self-composure and courage.”  (p 139)

The women of Sparta  Gates of Fire is about men at war in ancient times – very much about male warrior virtues.  But Pressfield honors women throughout.  At the beginning of the book, Diomache – our narrator’s female cousin,  is strong and virtuous.  Dienekes declares his wife to be the embodiment of heroic virtue – based on how she violated so many of Sparta’s cultural norms to avert injustice to save her nephew, and calls out the men for their blind and cowardly adherence to tradition.  One of the young warriors in the discussion of fear, observes in an admiring way, how women’s courage is different from men’s courage.  And at the conclusion of the book, Leonidas reveals that one of the main criteria for selecting those who would accompany the 300 into battle was the strength of their wives.

Katalepsis  – The Greek word for “possession” – a “derangement of the senses that comes when terror or anger usurps dominion of the mind.”  Pressfield brings up katalepsis numerous times in the book – to maintain ones composure and not succumb to katalepsis was a a key Spartan value – which leaders struggled to maintain when the young warriors got fired up.   To train themselves to resist katalepsis, Spartan warriors would abuse and bait young warriors-in-training as well as each other “to inure the sense to insult, to harden the will against responding with rage and fear, the twin unmanning evils of katalepsis – possession. The prized response, the one the (warriors) looked for is humor. Deflect defamation with a joke, the coarser the better. Laugh in its face. A mind which can maintain its lightness will not come undone in war. ” (p130)  Leaders had to control and contain katalepsis in their men, or they would be apt to do things that were against the Spartan value of detached and impersonal violence.

Battlefield Ethics – there was no discussion of ethics on the battlefield as we know it today – no Law of Armed Conflict and no sense of obligation to the enemy’s humanity in those days.  Polynikes in fact spoke of an almost sexual pleasure he got out of killing in battle.  It was routine to offer “no quarter” to the enemy, and in fact the Spartans trained to become impersonal killing machines and to not see their enemies as human beings. The ideal Spartan would kill, machine-like, simply out of duty, but not out of rage.  This was part of their proscription against katalepsis – succumbing to anger, rage and fury.   In the story, we saw examples of Spartans going onto the battlefield after the battle and  slaughtering the wounded enemy, and torturing and killing prisoners. This was a standard practice.  But Pressfield, acknowledging that such was the way things were back then,  includes Dienekes’ discomfort with such wholesale kataleptic slaughter, and Dienekes stepped in several times to successfully argue for  wise and less violent alternatives to the primal and kataleptic responses warriors may default to,  in an environment where killing and violence were routine.

The house with many rooms. Several time in the book Dienekes speaks of the mind as being a house with many rooms, and that “there are rooms we must not enter.  Anger, Fear.  Any passion which leads the mind toward that ‘possession’ which undoes men in war.” (p 139)  He later relates that another room one should not enter is thinking about one’s possible death in battle.

Dienekes I felt he was the hero of the book. He was not the greatest warrior – but was the best man and was highly respected as such by the other Spartan warriors and the citizens of Sparta.  He was not Achilles or Polynikes, but a fallible mortal.   “He was just a man doing a job whose primary attribute was self-restraint and self-composure, for those whom he led by his example.”  ((p112) He was contrasted with Polynikes who indeed was the best, most athletic and gifted warrior of the Spartans.  Whereas Polynikes courage oozed from his muscles, bones and marrow, Dienekes’ courage came from his heart, “by a force of some inner integrity which was unknown to Polynikes” (p134) His courage and resilience were  without question, and yet over and over, he is the “Solomon” in the group – the wise leader.  He was a great warrior, who had not sacrificed his humanity to become so.   When Leonidas asks Dienekes if he hated the enemy, he replied that he did not.  “I see faces of gentle and noble bearing. More than a few, I think, whom one would welcome with a clap and a laugh to any table of friends.” Leonides nodded his approval of that response.

Polynikes was the Spartans’ most heroic and athletic warrior – he had been an Olympic champion in sprinting -and he was extremely competitive. He was also cruel, vain and self-righteous.  His intensity scared people – including some of his fellow warriors.  I saw some of Eddie Gallagher in him;  with rage and fury (katalepsis) he went after some of the less athletic or talented young men in training, especially Alexandros.  And yet in the chaos of battle he was unmatched.  Exhausted and facing the inevitability of his own death at the end, he softened and became more human, humble, and giving  – his talent and energy had met their match.

Alexandros Alexandros was my second hero in this book. He was a gentler soul, a singer with the heart more of an artist than of a warrior.  He was not a natural athlete nor  warrior, but it was his challenge and fate to become a warrior, and to live up to the expectations of his father as well as his mentor (Dienekes)  – and he accepted it.   He suffered mightily in the training and was tormented especially and repeatedly by Polynikes. But he persisted, never gave up, and though he struggled and suffered more than most, and worked much harder than most, he eventually became a valiant and valued warrior – which in the end was acknowledged even by Polynikes, who apologized for how he had treated him.

Leonides and “what is a king?” Leonidas, the king of Sparta who led the Spartan contingent to Thermopylae, is Pressfield’s ideal leader in this book.  He is both father figure, and fellow warrior, and though close to 60 yrs old continued to fight on the front and with the men. He is the embodiment of leadership by example. He addresses them as a king, as a father, and as a fellow warrior – and they feel his love for them – but also his total commitment to the honor of Sparta. It is Leonidas who refuses the Persian offer to let them live in exchange for their arms – his commitment was to the greater cause of protecting Greece and the honor of Sparta.  He shows compassion in letting the other allies leave.  At the end of the book, our narrator boldly lectures the Persian Emperor Xerxes on “what is a king,” and then goes on to describe the attributes of Leonidas, concluding that a true king serves his people, not they him. .

The Warrior’s thoughts on the brink of battle.  During the several days of the battle of Thermopylae we get inside the heads of the warriors – most are badly wounded and almost too exhausted to think or care, much less to continue to fight.  But they do. On the final day, when all knew it would be their last, Pressfield tells us what the warrior thinks of when alone and facing his own death:

• The faces of his family and those he loves who he leaves behind;
• Those he loved who have already died – from his family, his friends, his fellow warriors;
• The gods.

Suicide’s soliloquy – Suicide was the name of Dienekes’ primary squire.  He was given that name because when he began work for the Spartans he wanted to die because of a crime he had committed in his native Scythia, which forced him into exile to ultimately join the Spartans.  He cared little for his life, and his reckless courage and willingness to die to support his master (Dienekes) in battle became legendary.    Toward the end of the book, he shares why he loves serving the Spartans, why he loves being associated with and part of their brotherhood.  He believes that their brutally arduous training is the glue that holds the Spartan phalanx together.   “For what can be more noble than to slay oneself? Not literally.  Not with a blade in the guts.  But to extinguish the selfish self within, that part which looks only to its own preservation, to save its own skin. That, I saw was the victory you Spartans had gained  over yourselves. That was the glue.”  (p 332)

The opposite of Fear (redux) –Suicide’s soliloquy inspires Dienekes to finally reveal what he sees as the opposite of fear – he declares that to be love.  When one sufficiently loves one’s country, comrades, family, and cause, fear is no longer a factor – one has NO  fear  facing the prospect of sacrifice to save them.

Why this book:  I’ve heard Tim Ferriss refer to this book several times, and I listened to  his interview with the author Rolf Potts. It sounded like something that I would like, given that I’ve got the urge to visit in a less structured way, some interesting, exotic, and out of the way parts of the world.

Summary in 3 sentences:   A short and easy to read book which is not only a philosophy of how to travel simply with an open mind to maximize one’s experience, but also a resource guide for finding out more information about whichever mode of travel suits one best, as long as it is not guided tourism.  He recommends  travelling apart from the standard tourist packages, which promise to keep you comfortable and unchallenged, and insulate you from dealing with the the realities and occasional discomfort of being in a different culture.  Vagabonding is full of the wisdom of the ages, offered from vagabonders past and present, and if looked at broadly, is also a philosophy for living more simply and more openly at home.

My Impressions: I loved this little book.  It is short, unpretentious and not only provides great practical advice for travelers of a wide variety of “persuasions,” its philosophy of unstructured, adventurous and open-minded/ open-hearted traveling  can be applied to open-minded and open-hearted living in one’s “normal” life at home.  I read it several months ago, and in reviewing it to write this review, I realize that it is a book I need to read again, and again.  It is redolent with the spirit of Walt Whitman’s Song of the Open Road, and it inspires that in me, and hopefully it will in you as well..

Rolf Potts distinguishes “vagabonding’ from a “mere” vacation where one is merely trying to get away and relax.  Vagabonding is a deliberate adventure, where one expects the unknown and unexpected,  anticipating both wonderful and not-so-wonderful experiences. The traveler intentionally travels with an open mind and heart.    He calls it “a rediscovery of reality itself.”   Isn’t that something we should aspire to every day?

He suggests that the vagabonder try to be more a “traveler” than a “tourist,” noting that travelers truly “see” their surroundings, whereas tourists merely “look” at attractions.  He also adds that vagabonding includes both, but encourages more traveler behavior than tourist.

He stresses repeatedly to default toward simplicity.  “What should I plan to bring on my travels? As little as possible, period. I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to travel light.”  (P. 7) It is a guide to simple living, and his advice reminds me of the old NOLS saying which opens the door to creative and expedient solutions to having limited resources at hand: “If you don’t have it, you don’t need it.”

He provides guidance on different versions of “vagabonding” and offers tips on pursuing whichever version may appeal most to you.  He offers guidance on going it alone, vagabonding with a partner, how to prepare to travel  while avoiding over-preparing, guidance for “senior” vagabonders, vagabonding with children, guidance for solo women vagabonders,  guidance for engaging with the locals, as well as with other travelers one meets on the road.   He offers guidance on eating strange food and staying healthy, and how to be appropriately cautious, and minimize the chances of being victimized or exploited.

He offers great guidance on negotiating awkward cross-cultural experiences, and warns against too quickly falling in love with the new and exotic, while still appreciating different cultures.   He gives advice on how to deal with  occasional unwelcoming behavior, to expect to be insulted and demeaned, as well as to be welcomed with open arms, loved and celebrated.  “After all, if you can find joy in insults – if you can learn to laugh at what would otherwise have made you angry – then the world is indeed ‘all yours’ as a cross-cultural traveler.” (p. 119)

He warns against travelling with a fixed mindset regarding political ideology, cultural values, or ingrained prejudices that become blinders that get in the way of seeing and appreciating things as they are.  He also warns against vagabonding with an agenda focused too much on “fun” or “partying” – a tendency he’s often seen, especially in younger travelers.  While certainly not recommending abstention or teetotaling,  he warns that  “falling into a nightly ritual of partying… is a sure way to overlook the subtlety of places, stunt your travel creativity and trap yourself in the patterns of home. “(p. 168)

This wonderful little book includes a rich collection of great quotes scattered throughout, from wise teachers down through the ages, as diverse as Aristotle, Bertrand Russell, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Edward Abbey, the Upanishads, Thoreau, Garrison Keillor, Bhagavad Gita, John Muir, Vonnegut, Melville.

Each chapter concludes with an extensive “Tip Sheet” with URLs to websites that provide guidance on the topic of the chapter, as well as recommended books, magazines, and other resources to help the aspiring vagabonder prepare.  The conclusion of each chapter also includes one page of “Vagabonding Voices”  – quotes from regular folks who have had experiences relevant to the topic at hand, as well as a one page “Vagabonding profile” – a short bio piece on well known and not-so-well known people with experiences and insights relevant to his theme.  The more prominent include Thoreau, Walt Whitman, John Muir, Isabelle Lucy Bird, Annie Dillard.

He concludes with chapters on how vagabonding can and should feed one’s creativity, and one’s spirituality (that’s small “s” spirituality) by opening our eyes to the wonder and the sacred in everyday life.  In the final chapter he addresses the challenges of coming home, reintegrating one’s changed self into the world one left behind, which will seem not to have changed at all.  He challenges us to “Explore your hometown as if its were a foreign land and take an interest in your neighbors as if they were exotic tribesmen.  Keep things real, and keep on learning. Be creative, and get into adventures.  Keep things simple, and let your spirit grow” (p. 208)

To me, Vagabonding reverberates with themes from Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey – leaving one’s known comfortable environment, often to go abroad, to face new challenges, expecting to be surprised and challenged, to take risks, to fail, to succeed, to experience joy and disappointment, and to learn and grow from the experience. And then to return home stronger, wiser, and more resilient, and thereby positively transform the world to which one returns.   In Vagabonding, Rolf Potts says that “Of all the adventures and challenges that wait on the vagabonding road, the most difficult can be the act of coming home.” (p. 205)  In Vagabonding, as in Campbell’s Hero’s Journey, Rolf Potts points out how coming home can be the  most important part of the journey. It is where we cash in on the longterm investment of having left the comforts of home, to head out and face new challenges and deal with them, as best we can, come what may.

Why this book: I’ve been exploring mental performance on my own and at work for quite some time. This book was given to me as a gift by my friend Doug Watterson, so I gave it a try. So glad I did.

Summary in 3 sentences: Gary Mack is a professional sports psychology consultant and shares his insights after years of working with professional athletes from many different sports.  He offers key principles, but also underscores their value and importance with fascinating vignettes from the lives of  celebrity athletes. But his book is also about mental performance for the rest of us, and is full of ideas and tools for performing and living well, not just in the arena of sports, but in the arena of life.

My impressions: So much wisdom, not only for high performance athletes, but for all of us. This book is a compendium of wisdom from great players and coaches from his experiences as a sports psychologist consultant for professional athletes in the 80s and 90s.   That wisdom applies not only to how best to succeed (however you define success) in sports but also how to succeed in other endeavors in life.   He makes his points and then backs them up  with vignettes and quotes from the greats in many sports.

It was a joy to read.  I’m way past my athletic prime but there is so much in there that I can still use.  It is a book for anyone who wants to perform better, and each person can take from it which ever gems can help them perform better in life.

A few examples:

His chapter “Riding the pines” – a euphemism for sitting the bench – advises players to “Inc themselves,” meaning to see themselves in a broader context – as an incorporated business – and he reminds them that they are writing their career resumes with everything they do – with every performance, including with how they respond to every setback.

His chapter “Hurry, Slowly” (in Navy SEALs lingo: “slow is fast”) is followed by the chapter “Try Easier” – both about relaxation and against over-trying, recommending  effortless power, not powerful effort.

His chapter “Be Here Now” is all about mindfulness.

His chapter “Simply Observe” is about focus.

His chapter “White Moments” is about being in “flow” or lost “in the zone.”

His chapter “Paralysis by Analysis” is about slumps, getting into them and getting out of them.

His chapter “Trust your Stuff” is about being decisive and committed, and overcoming self-doubt and tentativeness.

He has separate chapters on dealing with fear, dealing with strong emotions, dealing with failure and disappointment, and includes a chapter on what he calls the ugliest label in sports – “choking.”

HIs chapter on “Paradoxes of Performance” is really interesting – and includes explanations of 10 head-shaking paradoxes that are common in sports such as: less can be more, slowing down can make you faster, playing safe can be dangerous, a step backward is a step forward…

His chapter “The Hero Within” tells about how training the mind can unleash the hero in each of us – that with the right mental attitude and focus, “ordinary people can do extraordinary things.”

He makes clear in his chapter “Bottom Line” that self confidence and belief in oneself  are the most important part of the mental game.  The rest of the techniques are basically designed to support that one.

He concludes Mind Gym with a chapter entitled “The Big Win” which explicitly points out some of the implicit key points about how one performs in sports are analogous to how one lives a good life. Winning and losing are not the most important things – character, effort, attitude, grace and gratefulness – if these can be nurtured in how one plays – that is the Big Win.

Criticism – this is one of the earlier books on mental performance. It is organized to be easy and fun to read, but not as a good reference.   Some of the chapter titles are clever, but you have to get into the chapter to find out what it is about.  It was published in 2001, and probably written in 1999-2000.  Meditation in the 20 years since has become a recommended staple in high performance athletes, but it is not mentioned in this book – I assume because it was not a tool he recommended back in the 90s.  But the chapters on focus and visualization, and mindfulness and emotional control come at the same objective from a different direction.

This is not a criticism, but remembering that this book was published in 2001 it was amusing to read great quotes on performance from Mark McGwire, Lance Armstrong, Tiger Woods before they fell from grace.

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Some (a LOT of) Quotes from the book for my (and perhaps your) future reference.  I had great fun going back through this book and reviewing these many quotes and what I regard as highlights. (Page numbers refer to the paperback copy:)

p. ix-x Alex Rodriguez:  I try to attain my goals mentally first…I believe a champion wins in his mind first, then he plays the game, not the other way around.  …During tough times I don’t worry. I don’t judge my performance by results.  Most important is my physical and mental preparation.

p 4 The world’s greatest athletes and the most successful people in other walks of life know this to be true – that once you reach a certain level of competency, the mental skills become as important to performance as the physical skills, if not more so.

p. 7 What you think affects how you feel and perform. Training your brain is as important as training your body.

p. 9 One key to achieving success in sports is learning how to focus on the task and not let negative thoughts intrude…..In working with place-kickers, I use a distraction technique. I ask them to create a word that, when said to themselves, will block out all negative thought and help relieve tension.

p. 11 I give athletes  I work with a three-by-five card. On one side I have them list their personal keys to success; on the other, their performance keys to success.

p. 12 By changing your thinking – and you can choose how you think – you can change your performance.  Put another way, if you don’t like the program you are watching, switch the channel.

p. 14 The power of visualization and mental rehearsal has been demonstrated in dozens of research studies. If you take twenty athletes of equal ability and give them mental training,  they will outperform the ten who received no mental training every time.

p. 15 I still remember what Pele said: enthusiasm and the mental edge are the keys to winning.

p.17 To get the head edge, try creating your own mind gym.  You always can do mental practice, even when you are physically tired or injured. Make your images as vivid and as clear as you can.  See yourself overcoming mistakes, and imagine yourself doing things well. Remember, confidence comes from knowing you are mentally and physically prepared. ….Mental skills, like physical skills, need constant practice.

p. 18 Scott Hamilton: “Under pressure you can perform fifteen percent better or worse.”    Ken Griffey Sr. “When you have fun, it changes all the pressure into pleasure.”

p. 22 In a study on the experiences of athletes during their “greatest moment” in sports  (the researcher) found that more than 80 percent of the athletes said they felt no fear of failure. They weren’t thinking about their performance. They were immersed in the activity.

p. 24 Chris Evert: “Competitive toughness is an acquired skill and not an inherited gift.”

p. 25-28 Seven characteristics of mental toughness:

• Competitive Nancy Lopez; “a competitor will take bad breaks and use them to drive themselves just that much harder.  Quitters take bad breaks and use them as reasons to give up.
• Confident.  Tiger Woods:  “Every time I play, in my own mind, I’m the favorite.”
• Control. The hallmark of mentally tough athletes is the ability to maintain poise, concentration and emotional control under the greatest pressure and the most challenging situations.
• Committed.  Mentally tough athletes focus their time and energy on their goals and dreams.
• Composure.  Mentally tough athletes know how to stay focused and deal with adversity (and the inevitable bad referee call or unfair bad break.)
• Courage. A mentally tough athlete must be willing to take a risk. Are you a mountain climber who will get to the top, or a camper?
• Consistency.  Mentally tough athletes possess an inner strength. They often play their best when they’re feeling their worst.

p. 41 Arthur Ashe “you are really never playing              an opponent. you are playing yourself.”

p.41 In psychology there is something we call the self-consistency theory. It means we act consistent to our self-concept – our self-image… we will talk about the importance of seeing yourself as being successful.

p. 42-46.  Here is my check list of self-defeating thoughts and behaviors that undermine performance. I call them gremlins.

• Fear – usually it’s a threat to our self image.
• Anger – we have to learn to control our emotions or they will control us.
• Anxiety – a sense that something bad is going to happen.
• Self- consciousness  – being afraid of looking bad.  Ozzie Smith: “Show me a guy who is afraid of losing bad and I can beat him every time.”  You can’t perform well if you’re afraid of embarrassing yourself.
• Perfectionism. Perfectionists often have a very critical, self-condemning voice and are never satisfied with their performance.
• Stubborness. Some people are stubborn, unwilling to learn..in sports you must learn how to fail successfully.
• Lack of Motivation.  Joe DiMaggio: “Motivation is something nobody else can give you.  Others can help motivate you, but basically it must come from you, and it must be a constant desire to do your very best at all times and under any circumstances.”
• Competitiveness.  When people lose the willingness to do the work to be as good as you can be.
• Distractions. Unwillingness to discipline oneself to give up the things that impede one’s performance – booze, partying,drugs, other things.
• Persistence – unwillingness or inability to look at setbacks as opportunities.

p. 46 It’s important to look at yourself and identify your gremlins. In sports as in life, the first step to success is getting out of your own way.

p. 47 Ealr Weaver: “It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.”                        Knute Rockne: “Build your weaknesses until they become your strengths.”

p. 47 One thing I learned from my association with Japanese Baseball was the concept called kaizen which means constant daily learning…

p. 49 I believe in the parachute principe. The mind is like a parachute – it only works when it’s open.

p. 55 Lou Holtz: “You must have dreams and goals if you are ever going to achieve anything in this world.”

p. 58 It is said the extraordinary people live their lives backward. They create a future, and then they live into it. ACT backward.  Accept your present state, Create your desired state, Take action to achieve your goals.

p. 60 Goal setting is a master skill for personal growth and peak performance.

p. 61 You should develop performance goals as well as outcome goals.  A performance goal, or action goal is something you can control.

p. 61 Greg Norman: “Setting goals for your game is an art. The trick is in setting them at the right level, neither too low nor too high.”

p. 64  Seek progress, not perfection.

p. 76 Jimmy Johnson: “Really it comes down to your philosophy.  Do you want to play it safe and be good or do you want to take a chance and be great?”

p. 76-77  Fear of failure, more than any single thing, keeps people in sports and in all avenues of life, from realizing their full potential.  ….Fear makes you play safe. Fear makes you play small.

p. 79 Athletes should look at failure as feedback.  Greg Maddux:  Failure is the best teacher in the world..you get to learn from what happens to you – both good and bad – in a real-live game situation.

p. 80 Michael Jordan and many other great athletes learned to turn fear into anger.

p. 80  Learn how to fail succesfully.  Hate to fail but never fear it. Learn to view failure as feedback.

p. 81 Dennis Connor: “You can’t outperform your self-image.”

p. 84&86 Limits begin where vision ends.  You have to see yourself as a no limits person.  Visualize success and give yourself permission to win.

p. 88 An athlete’s success is said to depend oupon four factors – physical ability, physical training, mental training, and desire or drive.  The desire to succeed needs to be stronger than the fear of failure.

p. 93  Learning how to use one’s mind can be as potent as any performance-enhancing drug. In medical studies, many patients report improvement in their physical condition after they are given placebos, or sugar pills. Why? The power of the mind.

p. 94-96  The Four D’s

• Desire -“want’ power is as important as will power.
• Dedication – turning desire into action with a lasting commitment.
• Determination – an unwavering resolve to achieve one’s goals and succeed.
• Discipline – self-discipline -the only kind that lasts is action oriented. doing what you have to do when you need to do it, whether you want to or not.  Tom Landry: “Setting a goal is not the main thing.  It’s deciding how you will go about achieving it and staying with the plan. The key is discipline.”

p. 99 Scott Hamilton: “I firmly believe that the only disability in life is a bad attitude.”  Payne Steward: “A bad attitude is worse than a bad swing.”

p. 99 Atitude is like a pair of eyeglasses. It is the lens through which we view the world.

p. 100 Talent being equal, players with a positive, optimistic attitude will outperform those with a negative, pessimistic one.

p. 103 There are three P’s for changing pessimism into optimism:

• Permanence. Optimists experience setbacks and these disappointments are temporary.
• Pervasiveness.  Optimitst are able to put their problems in a “box” and not let them distract them or affect every other area o their lives.
• Personalization. Optimists internalize victories and externalize defeats.  The pessimist does just the opposite.

p. 103 It is said that 10 present of life is what happens to us and 90 percent is how we choose to react to it.

p. 103  Your attitude determines your altitude. If you think you can, or can’t, you’re probably right. The choice is yours.

p. 106 (after a setback -Erik Hanson🙂 “ I learned ten times more from one night of not throwing a ball than I have my whole life in pitching -all from observing, visualizing, and going through it all mentally.”

p. 107 It doesn’t take talent to hustle and work hard.  Invest in yourself with a positive attitude and “can-do thinking.”

p. 109. In psychology, the term self- efficacy is the belief in one’s own ability to be successful. Simply believing in yourself doesn’t mean you’re always going to win.  But believing in yourself can help enable you to put yourself into a position to win.

p. 112 In truth, life is based upon failures. If you don’t fail, you’re probably not challenging yourself enough.

p. 112 Muhammad Ali “To be a great champion you must believe you are the best.  If you’re not, pretend you are.”

p. 117 Ted Williams: “If you don’t think too good, don’t think too much.”

p. 118 (on self talk)  Which voice do you hear? Which is louder, the negative critic or the positive coach? You can choose to listen to the voice that offers and reinforces positive thoughts. It has been said that thoughts become words. Words become actions. Actions become habits. Habits become character. Character becomes your destiny.

p. 124  Be the solution, not the emotion. When you let anger get the best of you, it brings out the worst in you. The key question is who is in control – you or your emotions?  Remember, before you can control your performance you need to be in control of your self.

p. 126 When I’m nervous or trying too hard, I don’t perform well. Instead of playing my game, I play it safe. I play not to lose; I play small; I play scared…What I’ve had to learn – what I’m still working at – is not to let fear control me. Stop worrying about making a mistake.

p. 127  Fear lives in the future.  These (the best) athletes live in the present – the here and now. Their participation is fun and rewarding.

p. 129  Remember, fear doesn’t keep you safe. our training does.  Don’t let fear scare you. Feel the fear and do it anyway.  Fear is often false evidence appearing real.

p. 130 “Choker.”  It’s the ugliest label in sports. …There is no more damning gesture than a mocking hand to the throat, the choke sign. Yet choking happens every day. It happens at Wimbledon. It happens at the Olympic Games. No one is immune.

p. 132 Choking is a normal human reaction, a physiological response to a perceived psychological threat.

p. 132 When you are under stress, deep breathing helps bring your mind and body back into the present….Breathe in energy.  Breath out negativity. Breathe in relaxation. Breathe out stress.

p. 132  Over the years I have handed out thousands of little stickers to athletes that read “Breathe and Focus.”

p. 134  Choking is nothing more than paying attention to your physiology when you should be focusing on your opponent and the task.

p. 135  Billy Jean King: “Each point I play is in the now moment.  The last point means nothing, the next point means nothing. ”

p. 136 Alex Rodriguez: “My only goal is to learn how to play one entire game in the present.”

p. 136 Bobby Jones: “It’s nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me years to realize it.”

p. 136 Successful athletes who speak of “playing in the zone” are describing what it feels like to perform in the present, mind and body attuned, working together. When you are playing your game right on time, in the present, you perform at your best. Why? because in the present, there is no pressure.  Pressure is created by anxieties about the future and remembered failures from the past.

p. 137 Worrying about a mistake will usually get you another one just like it.

p. 139  Learn from the past. Prepare for the future. Peform in the present.

p. 144 The more you hurry the later you get. When you find yourself rushing you are no longer in the present. Pace instead off race.

p. 149 If you can relax your body, you can relax your mind. Quiet mind, Quiet body.  Relaxation happens when you stop creating tension. Over-trying leads to under-performing.

p. 151  Some well- meaning instructors make the game too complex.  The old joke is that if golf instructors taught sex education, it would be the end of civilization as we know it.

p. 151  This should be your goal: Play with your eyes, not your ideas….”I see the ball, I hit the ball,” Ken Griffey Jr. says.

p. 152  Jack Nicklaus calls concentration  “a fine antidote for anxiety.”

P. 154 If your mind starts to wander, so will your performance. Keep your eyes centered on the target and your mind set on the task at hand.  Focus on the process and let go of the outcome.

p. 156 What do you think is the most important part of the mental game? It’s a question I’ve asked hundreds of managers, coaches, and professional athletes during plane flights and bus rides to stadiums one rthe past twenty years.  The answer is always the same.  It’s confidence  When you’re confident you can relax, trust your stuff, and perform at your best. Confidence is the bottom line.

p. 156  Where does confidence come from? Great athletes say that confidence is knowing they are prepared physically and mentally.  .Confidence is the emotional knowing that you are prepared, mind, body, and spirit, for anything.

p. 157 Louis Pasteur: “Chance favors the prepared mind” or as golfer Tom Kite said, “Give luck a chance to happen.”

p. 157  Confidence is the result of preparation, and preparation begins with forming a mental game plan.  Reggie Jackson called winning the science of preparation. “And preparation can be defined in three words: Leave nothing undone. NO detail is too small.”

p. 159 when you’re relaxed, you’re in a more receptive state for positive affirmations and visualizations.

p. 164 When asked for golfing tips, I tell friends that the best advice I can give is that it’s better to be decisive than right..

p. 166 In practice, you learn to train your brain as well as your body. Sam Snead said that practice time is when you put your brain into your muscles.  The conscious practice of routines leads to the unconscious habits of success…Routines are comforting mechanisms – triggering mechanisms.

p. 167 Switch from the thinking mode to the trusting mode.

p. 169 Many people who play sports long enough  or work at their craft hard enough experience those magical moments where their training and trust in themselves come together in perfect harmony. Their performance flows smoothly, effortlessly, and almost unconsciously.

P. 169  All great athletes know the feeling . They use different words to describe it.  They’re on autopilot; they’re tuned in; in total control; in the groove; locked.  Japanese players have their own word for it , loosely translated, it means ‘no mind.”  Tennis star Arthur Ashe called it “playing in the zone.”

p. 171 When you’re in the zone, you have switched from a training mode to a trusting mode.  You’re not fighting yourself. You’re not afraid of anything. You’re living in the moment, in a special place and time.  As a certified hypnotist, I see similarities between people who are in a trance and those in a performance zone.

p. 172.  Tiger Woods  “You ever go up to a tee and say, ‘Don’t hit it left, don’t hit it right?’  That’s your conscious mind. My body knows how to play golf. I’ve trained it to do that. It’s just a matter of keeping my conscious mind out of it.”

p. 173 The harder you try to get into the zone, the further way you get. The zone is the reward for all your hard work and preparation . Just go with the flow and enjoy the moment.

p. 174  Johnny Bench: Slumps are like a soft bed, easy to get into and hard to get out of.

p. 179  The key to overcoming a slump is finding a difference that will make a difference. Usually this means doing less rather than more.    Sports is filled with ups and downs. Remember the first rule of holes is to stop digging.  Go back to basics and keep things simple.

p. 181  You have to be wiling to get worse before you can get better, which is one of the paradoxes of sports.

p. 183 Trying easier can be harder.  Remember the golfer’s prayer: “God, grand me the strength to swing easier.

p. 183  Over-control gets you out of control…Performance improves when they surrender to the process.

p. 187 Sport psychology is especially prescribed for two kinds of athletes.  Some perform well in practice but break down in competition because they become self-conscious or overanxious. Others possess worlds of talent but can’t perform consistently. Consistency separates good athletes from great ones. The best athletes win consistently because they think, act and practice consistently.

p. 188  Chris Evert boiled inside when she played. If her confidence was shaky, or she was losing her composure, she worked very hard not to show it.  “If you give in to your emotions after one loss, you’re liable to have three or four in a row.”

p. 189 “The trick,”  Arnold Palmer said,  “is to stay serene inside, even when things are going badly outside.”

p. 189  Jim Colbert echoing Sam Snead:  “My reaction to anything that happens on the golf course is no reaction. There are no birdies, or bogeys, or eagles or double bogeys. There are only numbers. If you can learn that, you can play this game. ”

p. 189 All performers can act themselves into a way of thinking just as they can think themselves into a way of acting.  Mental attitude is very important.

p. 189-90 Dave winfield, a member of the 3,000-hits club knew that what he thought affected how he performed. “Sometimes you have to say to yourself that you’re going to have fun and feel good before you go out there.  Normally, you have fun after you do well, but I wanted to have fun before I did well.  And that helped.”

p.190 To perform consistently you must prepare consistently.  Act the way you want to become until you become the way you act.

p. 192  Shaquille O’Neal: “It was Aristotle who said ‘ Excellence is not a singular act but a habit. You are what you repeatedly do.’”

p. 193  People with inner excellence look at competition as a challenge.

p. 193  Ten qualities of Inner Excellence:

• The person who is a winner within has a dream. Eleanor Roosevelt: “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.”
• Commitment  to do the hard work.  Joe Frazier:” You can map out a fight plan or a life plan, but when the action starts, it may not go the way you planned, and you’re down to your reflexes – your training. That’s where your roadwork shows. If you cheated on that in the dark of morning, you’re getting found out now, under the bright lights.”  (Great quote.)
• Responsibility – Those with the inner quality of excellence take responsibility for themselves and their actions.
• Openness to learning and growing.  Kaizen.  Learn how to play with the paradoxes of sports. We don’t grow old. We get old by not growing.
• Optimism  A positive mental attitude is essential to becoming the hero that is within you.
• Self Confidence.  No one can outperform his or her self image.  The greats believe in themselves and their abilities and they know how to do within, when they’re doing without.
• Emotional Control. Ask yourself – Was that appropriate? Does that serve you well?
• The adversity quotient.  An MVP looks at obstacles as opportunities and views setbacks as springboards for comebacks, stumbling blocks as stepping stones.   “Act like a champion.”
• Those with inner excellence posses the backbone of character.  Success with honor. Pick people up; don’t put them down. Walk your talk. Live by your principles. If you don’t stand for something, you can fall for untying.  If you stay in the middle of the road, the chance of getting hit are doubled.
• An MVP is persistent and patient.  Don’t give up on your dream. Hang out with people wh o stoke your fire, not soak your fire.

p. 196 When times are good, be grateful, and when times are bad, be graceful.

p. 196  Working on the inside shows on the outside. What lies ahead of us or behind us is of little matter to what lies within us.

p. 197 Ralph Waldo Emerson: “A hero is no braver than the ordinary person. He is just braver five minutes longer.”

p. 198 Dr Thad Bell “You can rise above almost any obstacle if you’re willing to work hard and believe that you can do it.  I want everyone to remember that ordinary people can do extraordinary things.”

p, 211 Great athletes strive for balance in their lives. On game day they find the warrior within.  They know when and how to turn it on, and when the game is over, they know how to turn it off.

p. 211 When the lights go on, it’s showtime. Be prepared mind, body, and spirit to do battle with everything you have, so when the contest is over you can leave the game behind, with no regrets.

p. 214 John McKay: “You shouldn’t worry about the fans or the press or trying to satisfy the expectations of anyone else.  All that matters is if you can look in the mirror and honestly tell the person you see there that you’ve done your best.”

p.215-217 Harvard researchers collaborated on a project to define what makes a successful life. They produced a list calle the Five L’s

• Love Without love for your sport and those people who are important to you, you aren’t living. Fall in love with what you are doing and the people you’re doing it with.
• Labor. Love what you’re doing, and you never have to work a day in your life.
• Learn  Frank Howard: “The trouble with baseball is that by the time you learn how to play the game, you can’t play it anymore.” Dan Fouts:  “I felt I can’t play forever but I’m learning more every day.”
• Laughter. Don’t let competition kill your sense of fun.  Life is to important to take too seriously. If you learn to laugh at yourself, you will enjoy a lifetime of entertainment.
• Leave, or let go. Charles Barkley:  “I’ve never believed my critics or my worshippers and I’ve always been able to leave the game at the arena.”   Sparky Anderson: “Win or lose, the game is finished. It’s over. It’s time to forget and prepare for the next one.”

p. 219  Success in life is peace of mind, the feeling of having no regrets.  It comes from knowing you did your best, on and off the field as a player and as a person. When you leave the game how do you want  to be remembered. How do you define success?

p. 220 Emmitt Smith:  I may win and I may lose, but I will never be defeated.

p. 224  the greater victory is the victory over ourselves. Remember, it’s always too soon to quit.